Red
by Sarcastic pistachio
Summary: Punky Monkey AU based on a tumblr prompt- Sarah is the one with the clone disease and is trying to cut ties while Cosima races to find a cure.


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Blood.

That's the first thing Cosima notices when she runs into the bathroom, after hearing Sarah's violent coughing.  
Its splattered against the sink, and the mirror, and on Sarah's hands and Cosima is freaking out.

"Oh my god, Sarah are you ok?! Should I get some water? What should I do?"  
Sarah whips around to face Cosima, wiping the back of her hand across her lips.

"No, I'm fine Cos, it was just a little blood."

"But-"

"I said I'm fine!"

Cosima doesn't know how to react so she settles for slowly backing out of the bathroom, and retreats to her laptop.  
If she wants Sarah to get better then she has to do whatever it takes. She has to find the cure to the respiratory disease that had already killed some of them and was now coming back to take Sarah from her.

The problem is, Sarah doesn't get better. In fact she gets worse, much worse. Suddenly Cosima is torn between her desire to stay by Sarah's side and her need to find the cure before its too late.

She ignores the little voice in her head that tells her it might already be too late.

Sarah begins coughing up even more blood, it's getting harder and harder for her to breathe and pretty soon she's hooked up to an oxygen tank.

If the sight of Sarah lying in bed hooked up to an oxygen tank didn't shatter Cosima's heart into a million pieces, then the way Sarah shuts her out certainly does.  
Sarah won't eat, won't talk to anyone, and is only sleeping due to pure exhaustion.

Cosima is still no closer to a cure.

She goes to check on Sarah every night.

"I told you that you don't have to keep checking on me Cosima. I don't need a bloody baby sitter."

Cosima almost flinches at the harsh tone. "I'm just making sure you're alright. I… I think I might be making some progress on the cure… It'll just take a little time, some hard work–"

"Cosima stop."

"What?"

"I said stop. You need to stop working yourself into the ground. Face the music, there is no cure. We're a failed science experiment, we were never meant to be here." Sarah's voice is pure dejection.

"No. No, you're wrong! There IS a cure and I'm going to find it. I have to." And with that Cosima spins on her heel and stalks out. She has work to do.

Unfortunately, determination can only get a person so far, and in the middle of the night she makes her way back to Sarah's bed.

She always comes back to Sarah.

She's surprised to find her awake as she climbs into bed beside her. "How are you feeling?"

She hears a tired sigh. "I told you I'm fine Cos."

It's the first time she's called her Cos since she got sick. It sounds more like a goodbye than a reassurance.

"Sarah… I need you to promise me that you won't give up… you won't lose hope."

Another sigh. "Cos, there's no point…"

Cosima is suddenly angry, at the scientists who caused this, at herself for not finding the cure, at Sarah for acting like Cosima doesn't need her.

"Yes, Sarah there is a point!" she snaps, "The point is that there are people who need you to stick around, who need you to be there. What about Felix, and Alison, and Kira! What about me!

Don't you understand that you're the one who holds us together? That you're the one who's supposed to be strong? To protect us?"

And now Sarah has tears streaming down her face and Cosima hates that she's doing this to her, but she has to make her see how much she means to them.

She reaches over and carefully wipes the tears off her cheeks and laces their fingers together, thumb brushing over the back of her knuckles.

Cosima rest her forehead against Sarah's temple and whispers, "I'm sorry for yelling at you but I need you to know how much we love you. I'll do whatever it takes to make things better but I can't do that without you Sarah. We need you– i need you."

She hears a sniffle and then Sarah's turning to make their foreheads touch. "I'm sorry Cos. You're right ok? I'll hang on but I can't do it without you either."

"We will find the cure Sarah.

"Yeah. Yeah, we will."

And for the first night since she got sick, they're both able to sleep peacefully.  
—


End file.
